Listen to Your Heart
by TheWhammy'sBoysAreACircus
Summary: “I…” He swallowed. “I love you, Roy,” he whispered. He looked up and cringed. Sorrow etched the Colonel’s face and he stared at the blond with pitying eyes. “I’m sorry you do,” Roy answered. -Pure Angst, but it's REALLY short- -Drop a Review?- Circus-


**Summary:**"I…" He swallowed. "I love you, Roy," he whispered. He looked up and cringed. Sorrow etched the Colonel's face and he stared at the blond with pitying eyes.

"I'm sorry you do," Roy answered."

**Warnings:**** PG-15, Yaoi, Character Death**

**Pairings:**** One sided Roy/Ed, one sided Ed/Hughes, established Roy/Havoc**

**Disclaimer:**** If I owned FMA, there would be hellova lot more angst, angst, yaoi, and character death. So, I don't own this or the song.**

_**Your Favorite Circus Act**_**- TheWhammy'sBoysAreACircus**

* * *

It was just Edward and Maes. They were standing outside of Hughes' house, both smoking. Ed threw his head back, exhaling smoke into the evening sky. It was hard. He had, somewhere along the road, fallen so deeply and irrevocably in love with Colonel Roy Mustang and it burned. Mustang was with Havoc and Sugarsun… Well, let's just say that if Roy continued to ignore Ed's feelings, Ed would join Sugar in a better place. Ed took another drag on his cigarette and glanced at the house behind them.

"Isn't Gracia worried?" the blond asked before blowing smoke out, watching it curl away. Maes gave a shrug and brought his cigarette to his lips.

"She may be," he said, his voice soft. Ed groaned and slumped against the house, kicking a rock absently. Hughes looked over and watched the blond fondly.

"Edward, about us-"

Edward turned to him, smiling brightly. "Yes, Maes?" he questioned. They had been in a 'relationship' for a while now. Gracia didn't know but the rest of the military did. The problem: It had been a one-sided relationship from the beginning. Ed needed someone and Hughes harbored feelings for the Fullmetal Alchemist. Hughes shook his head slowly.

"No, never mind," he mumbled. Ed laughed lightly.

"You're so weird, sometimes, Maes," he commented, dropping his cigarette to the ground. He stomped it out while pulling out another one. Lighting it, he pressed it to his lips and inhaled. Hughes was still on his first cancer stick. "It's not fair," the blond whispered. The light in the window behind him flickered on.

"What isn't, Ed?" Maes whispered.

"It's not fair," Ed breathed, flicking his cigarette so the ashes fell to the ground. "I hate him."

Maes stepped towards him but stopped when the curtain pushed opened, revealing his wife who looked on in concern.

"Who?" Maes questioned, turning so his side was leaning on the wall. He watched the blond carefully.

"Havoc," he snarled. "I hate him so damn _much_!" he hissed, bringing his cigarette to his lips once more.

"Ed…"

"Maes, stop! I know, you, and me… But, you should know! I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" Ed crumpled to his knees, his cigarette clenched in his fist, burning a black stain against his automail. "I'm sorry!" he sobbed, dropping the crushed cigarette. He covered his face with his hands as he sobbed. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-"

Hughes dropped to his knees, placing his hand on one of the blond's shoulders. "Hush, Edward." The brunette pulled the blond to him, putting out his cigarette which was nearly finished anyway. "There is nothing to apologize for because," the light flickered off, "I knew, the whole time, I knew."

"I'm sorry," Ed whispered, his voice cracking at the end as his sobs continued. "I'm so, so sorry… I wish I could love you… I'm sorry, sorry, so, so, so sorry!"

"_I know there's something in the wake of your smile_," Ed peeked at Hughes through his fingers, the tears still streaming. Oh how he loved Hughes… It just wasn't the right kind of love. But Christ did he love the man. "_I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah_." Hughes pried Ed's hands away and tilted his chin up so they were looking eye-to-eye. Hughes offered a small smile which was returned. "_You've built a love_," Hughes cupped Ed's face, "_but that love falls apart… A little piece of heaven…_" the street lamp in front of Hughes' house flickered out. "_Turns too dark_…" The tears hit Ed again and he was sobbing, apologizing painfully. Maes nestled his nose against the base of Ed's neck. He pressed one hand to Ed's chest, holding his hand with the other. "_Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you_…"

Ed's sobbing continued as he gripped Hughes' shoulders. "I'm sorry, Maes, I'm sorry…"

"_Listen to your heart_," Maes moved and pressed his ear to Ed's chest, "_there's nothing else you can do._" He leaned back and took both of Ed's hands in his. "_I don't know where you're going… And I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_." Ed tore his hands from Hughes' and brought them up to cover his tear streaked face, wiping his nose as he continued sobbing. Maes clenched his hands to fists, attempting a smile.

"_Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile_," he whispered, "_the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah_." He brushed some of Ed's tears away, chuckling as more tears replaced them. "_They're swept away_," he wiped the tears away again, "_and nothing is what it seems. The feeling of belonging_," a light turned on upstairs, "_to your dreams…_"

Ed's sobs and begs of forgiveness continued. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Maes put both hands on Ed's chest, spreading his fingers like a disease taking over Edward.

"_Listen to your heart_," Maes sang softly, leaning down so his lips hovered over Ed's ear, "_when he's calling for you_." He removed his hands and pressed his ear to Edward's chest. "_Listen to your heart_," Maes let his hands rest on Ed's waist and leaned back, smiling sadly at the sobbing blond. "_There's nothing else you can do._" He leaned forward and kissed the blond's forehead. "_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why… But listen to your heart_," he kissed where Edward's heart rested, "_before you tell him goodbye._"

Maes covered Ed's ears gently enough that Ed might have to strain to hear Maes' song. "_And there are voices that want to be heard_," he placed one hand over Edward's mouth but kept the other covering one of his ears, "_so much to mention, but you can't find the words_." Tears welled in Maes' eyes and that only caused more of Edward's to fall. "_The scent of magic, the beauty that's been… When love was wilder than the wind_." Edward hiccupped after these words but the tears kept rolling.

He moved Maes' hand from his mouth and shot forward, bringing their lips together in a chaste kiss. Edward's eyes were closed as he strained not to break the kiss, even when the light upstairs flickered off. Hughes closed his eyes and dropped one hand to Edward's waist, the other to the base of his neck. Ed tasted bitter. It was like the aftertaste of your favorite wine, burning the last few of your taste buds that the flavor did not appeal to. Gently, Maes pushed Edward from him.

"_Listen to your heart_," he admonished, "_when he's calling for you_." Ed's hands covered his eyes and his sobbing escalated in volume. He could physically feel his heart tearing itself apart.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, Maes," he whispered between sobs and hiccups.

"_Listen to your heart_," the brunette continued, reaching up to push his glasses back into place, "_there's nothing else you can do_." He stood and pulled the blond up with him, ignoring the face of his wife in the window which, on any other night, would have been heart stopping and terrifying. He spun the blond around once and they walked down the porch steps together, the blond still sobbing and the tears still rolling silently down Hughes' cheeks. "_I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_." Maes spun around and smiled at the blond and the street light flickered back into dim, barely living life, eerily illuminating the pair. If someone were to walk by, they would only see a pair of spectral beings.

"Maes," Edward sobbed, launching forward. His arms went around Maes' chest and he hugged the older man, sobbing heavily with a hiccup here and there.

"_Listen to your heart… Mhmm_." Maes stroked Ed's hair back and he tilted his own head back, staring into the starless sky.

"I love you." Edward's voice was muffled by Maes' shirt. "But," he continued, his voice coarse and cracking, "it's not the _right_ kind of love…"

Maes smiled and watched the blond step away, wiping his eyes. He leaned up and gave Maes one last kiss before bowing and turning. "_I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before… You tell him goodbye_."

Maes fell to his knees, watching the form of Edward fade into the distance. The tears never stopped. "I, too, love you, Edward Elric."

* * *

Edward dropped his gaze to the carpet instead of the Colonel before him. "I…" He swallowed. "I love you, Roy," he whispered. He looked up and cringed. Sorrow etched the Colonel's face and he stared at the blond with pitying eyes.

"I'm sorry you do," Roy answered.

* * *

Hughes sat beside Havoc's desk, waiting for Roy to get in. He was covered in blood and his glasses were askew. Havoc, Riza, and Breda kept sending him nervous glances and all looked alarmed when Maes stood abruptly. Roy had entered.

"Maes?" he questioned. "What's wrong? Crap, what happened to you?" Maes stared at him with dead eyes and smiled a broken smile.

"I just wanted to tell you, Roy, goodbye." Maes nodded.

"E-Excuse me?" the Flame Alchemist questioned. Maes tilted his head to the side.

"It happened yesterday evening, actually," Maes informed the group. His hands clenched into fists. "All he could do was mumbled about how goddamn _sorry_ he was and how goddamn pathetic he felt for hurting me. And all Alphonse did was apologize for being so goddamn unhelpful and then…" Maes glared and brushed past Roy. "This isn't my blood. It's theirs. I wanted to say goodbye. I'm going to go join them now. Don't wait up."


End file.
